


Kazoo

by CinderSpots



Series: Six Lesbian One Shots [39]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Cussing, Dogs, F/F, I'm so sorry, Kazoo, This spiraled out of control, don't like Lina, what even is this, who the fuck knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 06:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26847313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinderSpots/pseuds/CinderSpots
Summary: Did you know that Kazoo's can be incredibly annoying?Anne did.Then she informed Cathy.Who informed Anna.Who informed Kat.Who informed Jane.Who is now informing Lina.
Relationships: Anne Boleyn/Catherine Parr, Anne of Cleves/Katherine Howard, Catherine of Aragon/Jane Seymour
Series: Six Lesbian One Shots [39]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800325
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	Kazoo

Did you know that Kazoo's can be incredibly annoying?

Anne did.

Then she informed Cathy.

Who informed Anna.

Who informed Kat.

Who informed Jane.

Who is now informing Lina.

Lina is now mentally stabbing Anne repeatedly to pay back for creating this disastrous virus that involves too many bright plastic noise machines.

"Just listen."

"I don't want to!"

"Come on! I had to sit through an hour of this, you can at least do five minutes!"

"Fine - wait an hour?"

"Kat wasn't feeling very kind in that moment."

"What happened, why do you sound like you've come back from a war zone?"

"Because I have!"

"I - you're being overdramatic, play the damned video."

She was right.

It was a warzone.

"I feel like we need to get revenge on her for this."

"Who?"

"Anne, who undoubtedly started it."

____________

It was Anne as they found out after they traced it back.

And now the entire house was united against her and planning on showing her just how wrong her mistake was.

And why the kazoo wasn't a musical instrument.

(When she said that, Lina threw a fit. So did Jane in all honesty, but she was a lot more quiet about it. Lina just yelled over and over again that kazoos were the enemy of humankind, they were annoying, and Anne must never claim they are a musical instrument again.

To which Anne responded with, 'Kazoos are beautiful instruments, and their sound just resonates within you. Musically.'

And then the whole situation repeated itself until Jane pried Lina away.)

They were going to play Anne's song, but with kazoos.

(Realistically they should've known just how terrible of an idea it was to show her this. Because it was Anne, and of course she would take it and run.)

And then Anne actually did that at a show, much to their horror.

It was a disaster, just overall, a disaster.

But apparently it wasn't over yet, because now, somehow, by some miracle, Lina is now on Anne's side of things.

"I feel so betrayed right now." Jane whispered into her hands.

The remaining queens were gathered in the silver queens room, comforting her over her loss.

Because her girlfriend lost her mind and was a turncoat.

"We'll get Anne for this, we swear."

______________

The next show, it was Lina's song on the kazoo playlist.

______________

Anna was now a traitor as well it seemed, she was kazooing away with Anne and Lina now. Kat was sitting with Jane, just as betrayed, and just as much in grieving.

"I feel like I don't even know her anymore."

"I understand how you feel."

______________

Cathy had remained in her room the entire time, because she was the first victim of the kazoo empire. That was until Jane and Kat recruited her for help.

"It has spiralled out of control."

"Anna is helping now."

"Is that so bad, or surprising?"

"So is Lina."

"She's been drugged, blackmail, death threats, we must save her."

"Okay, super offended you weren't willing to do this for Anna, but yeah!"

_______________

When Cathy walked downstairs, there was a moment of confusion for the kazoo empire.

"Just getting coffee."

"But I get you coffee." Anne said, her shoulders sagging.

"Sorry Annie, couldn't wait any longer."

Anne pouted and then turned back to her allies, but then Cathy walked over and caught Anne's attention again. She kissed her softly, Anne humming softly in Cathy's mouth.

When she was walking away Cathy overheard this.

"Why does your girlfriend not cut you off from affection for this, but ours do?"

"She's better than them."

"That's a lie, Jane is way better."

Interesting.

______________

"Yeah it won't take that much effort to turn them back."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, Lina - yes I know your name - misses your affection. Just overall. All of it. She was complaining about how I was still kissing Anne even though she was a kazoo soldier, and then when Anne claimed I was better than y'all, she instantly defended you and said you were way better, so I might be a little testy with you over that."

"So basically, I tell her that she can cuddle with me again, and all the other stuff if she stops supporting the kazoo movement?"

"Yes."

"What about me?"

"Same thing, she misses it too, but she was letting Lina - yes I know your name - do all the talking."

"Okay."

"Thanks Cathy!"

_______________

Anne wasn't a fan of Cathy using their relationship to help Jane and Kat get their sound minded girlfriends back.

It took an hour for Lina to break after Jane gave her the offer, and Jane was now held up in her room cuddling with Lina.

Although Cathy was getting the feeling cuddling wasn't the only thing on the table.

Anna took two days, less embarrassing than Lina's attempt at holding out from Jane. But still quick enough for Kat to not change the offer.

Anne, although was very busy trying to win her previous allies back, had figured out that Cathy had helped in about ten minutes after Lina.

"I can't believe you would betray me like that!"

"I was promised premium coffee, and that they would leave me alone if I helped."

"Well, if you had asked me for a counter proposal I would've given you extra cuddles and kisses. Now I have to take them away."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Lina called from upstairs.

"Go back to screwing my cousin!"

The loud bang from upstairs, that signalled someone falling off a bed, spoke volumes about how true Anne's statement was.

"Gross." Cathy muttered to herself.

"You said it, anyways back to banning cuddles."

Lina actually chose that moment to come downstairs with a red face and chase Anne out of the house.

Jane walked downstairs, with her shirt backwards, and Cathy raised a brow.

"You kicked her out because of Anne didn't you?"

"Yes, where are they?"

"Somewhere down the block murdering each other."

"Shit."

"Yeah, Lina responded very illogically, so good to know you do that to her."

"What?"

"Oh yeah, normally she doesn't let herself do irrational things but apparently after getting hyped up and then kicked out because Anne doesn't know how to shut up really gets her angry, because - I can hear Anne screaming."

"We should go help her."

"Are we helping Anne, or Lina?"

"Let's go."

"Ignoring me I see."

"I -"

A loud scream that wasn't Anne sounded, in fact it was Lina who screamed. And then Anne screamed 'oh shit!'.

Which was really comforting.

Cathy and Jane darted down the street and found Lina very much being attacked by a dog. A pitbull to be exact. And it had chomped down real hard on Lina's leg.

Now, pitbulls are known for one thing.

Violence.

And also the tendency to not let go once they've latched on.

"Oh my god! Get it off her!"

"Is this what you wanted?!"

"Why would I want this?!"

"This wouldn't have happened if you'd have just kept your mouth shut!"

"She shouldn't have butted in!"

"Are you kidding me right now!"

Jane looked up and gritted her teeth.

"We wouldn't have even been teased for that if you hadn't started that damn kazoo campaign and split us up!"

"I - I - um - that's fair."

"Call the ambulance!"

The pitbull had let go, after Jane sprayed it in the face with water for so long that it couldn't breath, and then continued to spray it until he left.

"This is what happens when you bring kazoos into our lives Anne!"

"I'm sorry!"


End file.
